tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44273293403392465412012-02-05T19:40:06.343-05:00Simple beauty... A hand outstretched... Last chance...Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.comBlogger1121100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-71644743348801535432010-08-30T09:23:00.001-04:002010-08-30T09:24:14.417-04:00

Senior year is here. Time to make some magic, if I can bring myself to conjure once again.

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-16939058987738131822008-10-07T13:11:00.002-04:002008-10-07T13:16:06.654-04:00

I've finally found a bit of substance to what makes K so great. What binds her to me in some metaphysical fashion.The things that are important to me, the style in which I operate-and not just with her, but people in general-is guilty. I am guilty until proven innocent. I am a person who has to be faced with guilt in order to understand, in order to forgive, in order to change. She puts the

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-72962222413621795822008-09-22T15:12:00.002-04:002008-09-22T16:27:17.460-04:00

I guess it is funny how much a simple song can say about something. Our society has always based so much power and meaning in song lyrics. Many of the lyrics take root in our souls and in our minds and in our hearts. Those lyrics are carried with us forever. However, there are also those lyrics which we stumble upon in daily life, those songs that we never looked at twice, but suddenly mean

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-69510190950726994412008-09-17T23:37:00.003-04:002008-09-17T23:52:40.891-04:00

I sense that I don't really have the energy for this at this point. What is the point? 'Nadie.' What an appropriate word. Nothing in the English language can placate my bleeding cliche. Honestly, where could I go from here? There is no up, and going down is just a painful process.Still I find cause to smile. Or do I? What does anyone know or understand? Where do I draw the line? I don't

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-79571876794552265762008-09-15T10:13:00.004-04:002008-09-15T10:28:06.995-04:00

So Reach the Beach. Yeah. I did it. I ran fourteen and a half miles. In three legs. With three hours of sleep, in a muggy, sweaty, uncomfortable, cramped van. At least an hour of that was done sitting up in the form of 10 minute cat naps here or there. I survived on peanut butter sandwiches, bananas, and protein bars. I didn't have the funds or means to accurately prepare (food wise) for

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I guess there isn't much to say. Things seem to come across the most when things are in such predicaments. I am in a relationship and suddenly feelings that were never expressed so strongly come out. Or maybe it was my choice of words the other day.S you need someone who can give to you everything you need. D is a great guy. He is smart and funny and attractive and smokes. He is into

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-34919080305455012352008-09-08T01:04:00.007-04:002008-09-08T02:17:31.271-04:00

It seems its been quite a while since the last time I updated this. I am sure that not many people follow it anymore, at least not as religiously as they used to. But things have been said and done and complicated, and then I dropped off the blogger scene for a while. Honestly I can't really blame myself, things were getting too dramatic and I needed to take a step back. Life wasn't going my

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-1162990940956865202008-07-06T12:09:00.002-04:002008-07-06T12:17:00.662-04:00

Just being there to hear them talk about their problems is all it takes. Being at your phone when they make that desperate call. If only I had a car. I would be at her house in an instant. I would spend the day with her. She doesn't need my advice. I give what I can. I know she holds my advice above all others. But I know what to say. I know what she will disregard and what she needs to

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-26160685898862177402008-07-04T13:41:00.002-04:002008-07-04T13:41:42.894-04:00

I just created a new site with iweb. I guess I could give it to you guys, but if you want it you're gonna have to come and get it.

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-542096420872790982008-06-05T20:01:00.003-04:002008-06-05T20:09:08.544-04:00

Let me apologize to begin withLet me apologize for what I'm about to sayBut trying to be genuine was harder than it seemedAnd somehow I got caught up in betweenLet me apologize to begin withLet me apologize for what I'm about to sayBut trying to be someone else was harder than it seemedAnd somehow I got caught up in betweenBetween my pride and my promiseBetween my lies and how the truth gets in

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-48273500160697917182008-06-03T16:10:00.003-04:002008-06-03T16:22:24.221-04:00

Yes think. There has been but one thought occupying my mind these last 24-48 hours. No you don't get to know what it is. I had a long, beautiful, weight lifting conversation with my old friend last night. :sigh: It felt so good to talk to her. I remembered why I talk to her, why I consider her above all else my closest friend, because she is. I tell her everything, without hesitation,

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-5707478733425966742008-06-02T17:08:00.002-04:002008-06-02T17:24:30.440-04:00

Wow, I just realized how lame that 100th post was.I guess I was distracted or something. Well I am lame so...But here is the real deal.So yes, I did talk with an old friend. We're gonna hook up at some point so we can catch up on things, and then we'll hang out periodically during the summer. It will be great. And the reason why is that of all the people from HS, she is the one I'd hate to

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-6231474553698943512008-06-01T21:06:00.002-04:002008-06-01T21:38:03.709-04:00

And boy do I have news for you...Last night was a bad night. I was depressed. I'll admit it.But today was a good day.I watched anime, I feel better. It's good.And I talked to Chels. We have a lot of catching up to do, but it will be great. I'm glad that we're gonna start talking again, and this time I won't stop talking to her.

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-66213718703060142092008-05-29T16:25:00.003-04:002008-05-29T16:35:18.311-04:00

"I'm not sure of anyone, anyoneBut I've got plansI'm not asking for everything but sure I could use a handGet a little anxiousSometimes you'll be gone and I'll be left behindGet a little nervousSometimes it'll be my cue and I'll forget my linesGet a little lost lookAnd some staring from the corner of my eyeNever really mastered disinterestI can't see howThe way that you leave me alone makes us

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-80215001339087617192008-05-27T20:44:00.002-04:002008-05-27T21:03:04.728-04:00

Minutes later and I still can't say much.You yell at me when I close off and don't open up.But when I do I get myself into trouble.I am a nuclear bomb.I tell you to stay behind the lead shielding.You don't listen.Nothing happens at first, so I let it slide.But prolonged exposure is deadly.No side effects until its too late.No one believes me.No one understands until I blow up.By then it's too

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-82280130653446439012008-05-25T13:18:00.002-04:002008-05-25T13:38:08.634-04:00

There used to be a time when I could sleep on my own. Just me and my pillow. But that began to become painful and I would wake up sore. So I got that lil gray bean pillow. That used to suffice. And then I started sharing a bed with someone, with you. And now the lil gray pillow doesn't work anymore. I had to upgrade to something bigger. I wonder if it will continue like this. I just find

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-84051135430043392062008-05-23T17:10:00.002-04:002008-05-23T17:57:30.434-04:00

You listen to The Fray much? I'm sure you do, it is right up your ally. So I got a task for you: look up the lyrics to 'How to Save a Life.' You may find much there. In a Emmet, read between the lines but not too much, sort of way. It's there. All of it. You, me, your insecurities, and your ability to grasp the situation. So I'm gonna enlighten you. You say that all of this makes you

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-30013513260203208532008-05-19T20:29:00.003-04:002008-05-19T22:21:14.680-04:00

a;idjafghpain ;klvn ;ijcnvaaioewfh;aohwenvlwuga;wieufa;we;fhe;vnaer;igjawe;iohg;aiwgwj;aThat is right. That is how peeved I am. That is how annoyed I am. So much that words escape me at the moment. I mean that isn't a rare thing, but it seldom happens and is often far apart.I mean COME ON! Seriously. The only way you know how to communicate with me is through facebook? Oh wait that's right

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-21694991535215299382008-05-17T16:11:00.002-04:002008-05-17T16:58:06.091-04:00

So... ummmmmm... I guess I'm a little psychotic.This is the line up:Peter Pan - J.M. Barrie (192 pgs)Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass - Lewis Carroll (239 pgs)The Canterbury Tales (A Selection) - Geoffrey Chaucer (395 pgs)The Last of the Mohicans - James Feniore Cooper (415 pgs)The Black Rose - Thomas B. Costain (403 pgs)The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People -

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-46895154483509435692008-05-14T14:04:00.003-04:002008-05-14T14:15:23.492-04:00

You know those stereotypical shots of mimes trying to escape from an invisible box. Yeah that is me. This place is a cage, it is a box, it is a trap. I used to feel comfortable here. I didn't care that I fell out of touch with people, I barely had friends as it was, I was used to occupying myself with the TV and movies and in some cases the Internet - but I don't really find the Internet very

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-48089201948896494352008-05-13T11:09:00.002-04:002008-05-13T11:14:23.900-04:00

I have a job.The car is working.I'll be making some good money.I will be able to save the vast majority of it.I will be able to get a new phone. *crosses fingers* With unlimited texting. *crosses fingers*I can buy books and movies and cds and star trek. *cheers*I can buy those cool rings I want.I can get my Irish flag and more posters.I can get curtains so Chris and I have some privacy.I can

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-71015763257907654272008-05-12T13:40:00.003-04:002008-05-12T13:45:06.081-04:00

Is there anything else that could possibly make me feel worse about my life? No this isn't bad. No there is not need to worry. Yes I am stressed, just like everyone else. Yay proof that I am human. What a relief, no? I am fine. Yet, at the same time this time of year does wonders on my spirit and soul. And by wonders I mean destroys. And by destroys I mean obliterates. It only gets me

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-60129903537405445812008-05-08T10:23:00.002-04:002008-05-08T10:25:29.462-04:00

Again I had a strange dream. This one I have mixed feelings about. I have mixed feelings because it was a good strange, but also a bad strange, and also a creepy weird strange.

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-89106205505875236492008-05-05T02:01:00.002-04:002008-05-05T02:06:29.784-04:00

masquerading as demons of night and day. Rising up within under veil of truce, white flag fluttering to the sounds of the dusk. Burning brightly into the silence of full darkness. A piercing noise floods the air, wailing at the highest pitch. A deep bass, the reason, the constant, the steady beat of the heart. Off set with the crying soprano of a fragile voice. That voice speaks in tongues

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-19056792734862217252008-04-28T11:05:00.004-04:002008-04-28T11:09:50.483-04:00

Well actually I had a dream. So to top off that *points downward* I went to bed sorta early cuz I was tired. Well let me tell you, that was probably the best decision of my life. haha. I slept swimmingly. Literally. lol. My dream was fabulous, I am awake and I want nothing more than to go back to it. But I am so well rested that I don't think I could go back to sleep. Ahhhhhh. Oh what

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-20605470507955445722008-04-28T00:22:00.003-04:002008-04-28T00:40:43.568-04:00

Yesterday was the recognition dinner. I felt unworthy of being there. I don't do anything special, as seen by my short list of accomplishments towards the community. Rec games. That's it. But others do SGA and Circle K and all this other stuff, vastly earning their reputation and college education. They deserve their loans and scholarships. Me, I'm lazy and undisciplined. I don't deserve

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-49101622789986191632008-04-26T02:16:00.003-04:002008-04-26T02:17:42.304-04:00

tonight was a good night... today a good day... but will i think so in the morning when i arise from a fitful sleep? will i think so upon reflection and hindsight and thought and cares? will it matter? does it matter?

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-28275452209914366892008-04-24T01:18:00.001-04:002008-04-24T01:18:50.913-04:00

...

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-87735522037143413622008-04-23T19:52:00.003-04:002008-04-23T19:59:23.356-04:00

that's pretty good... when and where and why did i write it lol... i can't even remember the emotions i was feeling... all i see are the words and what they mean in the clever order i have put them in... could this be how you guys on the outside feel?... nah... that is much much worse... haha | |\/

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-80652603634489510572008-04-22T01:10:00.002-04:002008-04-22T01:15:33.245-04:00

it seems you have me at a disadvantage...it seems you have caught me unawares...it seems you have not been honest...it seems you have gotten the best of me... yet again...and on the 7th day God was tired so he took the day and rested his weariness away. and on the 8th day God realized that mankind, above all other animals, would exhibit free will and emotion beyond the primal instincts set down

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-58011176462340979342008-04-20T02:47:00.002-04:002008-04-20T02:48:01.645-04:00

I'd rather spend my time in useless misery, collecting dust on the shelf, than be called upon in this manner... at least two people have got the right idea... i hope...

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-5066044858621022262008-04-20T02:45:00.001-04:002008-04-20T02:46:56.707-04:00

God freaking dammit people its SPRING. WTF is wrong with the world.

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-79068178146917812512008-04-17T01:44:00.000-04:002008-04-17T01:45:29.508-04:00

seriously it is...

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-81280133007987549402008-04-16T01:10:00.002-04:002008-04-16T01:11:42.853-04:00

Invader Zim kicks ass... really its all Gir, but the show in itself is pretty badass...Juno also came out yesterday... I might buy that....

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-36055946153062112632008-04-14T01:22:00.002-04:002008-04-14T01:23:31.914-04:00

addition to dream home... some manner of recording my thoughts while in the shower... oh how much that would help me. i should invest in a waterproof recording device. genius.

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-71104732133473239802008-04-13T10:49:00.003-04:002008-04-13T10:55:57.346-04:00

that movie had some deep and profound effect.hence why i seldom watch it.i got so wrapped up in amazing hot chick nude that i forgot about all the other stuff...i thought love was supposed to be happy.oh well.yet another one of my... lol... almost did it again... im so used to spilling everything here... and now i can't.its odd, the death of one era and from the ashes the birth of a new one. its

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-65243397563535877592008-04-12T02:17:00.001-04:002008-04-12T02:18:58.924-04:00

that's a good movie. reminded me a lot about... nvm we wont go there. have to remember not to open up anymore...don't wanna get hurt again... sink too close...

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-80328108577778401512008-04-09T12:44:00.003-04:002008-04-09T12:55:03.783-04:00

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG...I am like a twelve year old girl who gets to see Justin Timberlake live in concert.I am like peeing my pants for star trek, and it is still a lil under a year until it comes out.I am over the casting mistakes. In my opinion, even if the story line goes back in time, all the original cast needs to be there from the start. Not just Leonard Nemoy. However, Spock does

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-19180779111945158222008-04-07T01:49:00.003-04:002008-04-07T01:52:23.423-04:00

it's been a long time since i cried myself to sleep last...but tonight looks chipper... maybe i wont sleep... just cry... idk... we'll see...

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-21213856002606904422008-04-06T19:40:00.003-04:002008-04-06T19:42:19.528-04:00

i need to get something off my chest... but she never says what she needs to in order for me to say it...almost like she doesn't care to know...should i just say it? type it out and get it over with? give her all the real reasons, all the reasons that will hurt more, but make more sense?well folks... here's a toast to falling...

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-88687763277971231602008-04-04T23:42:00.004-04:002008-04-04T23:49:56.230-04:00

is a heart breaker,but my love is a life taker...I wish it wasn't so... but it is.Wind whistling through the thickets of old oaks under the deep blue radiance of a full moon has knocked my balance askew. I have slipped, fallen, and cut myself on the thorny defenses of these succulent plants. Nourished by pale moonlight, seeking the sullen shade of the oak, while reaching for that starry sky.Oh

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-36204708791122230082008-04-02T20:14:00.002-04:002008-04-02T20:15:08.863-04:00

but in other newsmy grandfather had successful surgery today.got out in 7 hoursshould be in the hospital all day tomorrowthen goes home friday...

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-81157916697176341912008-04-02T00:02:00.003-04:002008-04-02T00:09:24.583-04:00

They look up.Taking her hand. Remembering that feeling; inspired anew. This wonderous feeling I have not felt in so long. It returns again. Desire, passion, romance. All intertwined in one, glorious body. Captivated by the glowing aura of her presence.She is mine, and I hers. Satisfaction comes from that. I will not illusion myself into falsehoods, for it is too early to tell, but five

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-76850659380902906992008-03-30T16:51:00.003-04:002008-03-30T16:54:57.598-04:00

it's so hilarious when you can be having a pretty damn good weekend and it all changes in on 48 minute phone call.when you're sitting there and your stomach drops again and you feel tears welling inside.when it is compounded by more dire news.WTF:sigh:i need star trek... time for a long kirk and picard marathon... somehow when those two make with saving the universe everything that is wrong

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-28298556208659354632008-03-26T22:37:00.003-04:002008-03-26T22:39:55.904-04:00

What do I see in myself?I see different things at different times. It's nice to see what others think about you, even in a public atmosphere. Just imagine had we actually been dating... :- /. Yeah that woulda been cool. Or different. Maybe she wouldn't have forgotten our song...

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-77134093165670587062008-03-21T01:54:00.002-04:002008-03-21T01:58:20.891-04:00

And then it falls on passion's killing floor that everything is okay. All is abated. Happiness swells. What you expect to find is there. What do you expect to find? A swelling of the heart as it tries to burst through your chest, a hollow pit in your gut, burning in your ears, mind a racing? Could you control such emotions, dancing with nervous jitters? Ha. Been there, done that. Still I

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-44434129956009901652008-03-21T01:49:00.003-04:002008-03-21T01:52:59.768-04:00

Of all the things I've said and done, I have nothing left. I am undone, flayed alive, burned at the stake. My words sink in, fresh wounds to scar my permanently. They are markers of time, of things said, of things meant, of harm done, of good rendered. Always seeking redemption for past sins. Past lives catching up with me. A good heart, always after the wrong things. Entering into

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-59392248065080414462008-03-19T22:02:00.002-04:002008-03-19T22:04:46.995-04:00

So I'm done being miserable... but that's just leaving me more miserable. So the facade must go up and I must hide behind a fake smile once again. Yay. So much of me wants to just hole up inside a dark hole and not come out... not for the reasons you are thinking... for other reasons... but I can't. I can't just ignore you people, you guys are too amazing... so idk what I'm gonna do.

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-87801645672521654412008-03-17T16:31:00.002-04:002008-03-17T16:37:52.212-04:00

He has cancer and I can't just ignore it anymore. I can't shrug it off and make it be a normal thing. I can't disillusion myself to the fact that it can't happen to me, to my family. Now it has. Now it is real. Now I hate it with even more fiery passion. Now I believe even less in God. If no amount of prayers helped me before, then why would they help me now? So what is it that I believe

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-74848411352943246982008-03-12T01:47:00.001-04:002008-03-12T01:49:39.032-04:00

I didn't post a creative arts selection for last week. :(And this week's one is due... today. So... ummmmmm... how bout this?“Icarus”I hope you are not abject to my feelings of foreboding as I fly ever closer to the sun of despair. Burning through my wings, melting my heart, I stumble over your fumbling footfalls. Fearing you will trip over my words, I stutter into my shelter. My comfort zone

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-5065662931462408132008-03-12T01:44:00.002-04:002008-03-12T01:47:14.469-04:00

It's been a while... mostly because I actually want to post something intelligent, and partly because I want to be secretive for a while. I'm gonna start dealing w/ my shit on my own again. There are just too many people to trust, too many people interested, too many people who care... it spreads me so thin. I can't do that.So updates:I got a collective 5 hours of sleep over 3 days this past

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-32903811991018440252008-03-07T12:19:00.002-05:002008-03-07T12:21:42.585-05:00

afi seems to say it best right now.guess chris is rubbing off on me.the hair.the cloths.the music.the attitude.and still i find that i'm escaping somehow.more than him.different than him.and still i float down this stream alone.quiet pressing in on all sides.there is only so much pressure a body can take.i shut my eyes to wish it away.but that remedy no longer works.

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-74954353273315606512008-03-06T02:46:00.002-05:002008-03-06T02:47:49.321-05:00

i almost went a night w/o hanging all over her... holy crap... idk how it was possible... its getting better... but sometimes i still feel horrible about it... amen to being messed up...

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-62544791565857258262008-03-05T01:33:00.002-05:002008-03-05T01:35:17.438-05:00

holding them close... whether they are crying or just want to squeeze in my arms for a while... whether i can offer them my ear and support in the hopes that it makes them feel better... or that i am the first to know something...thanks guys... it really makes me feel like i can do some good in the world...

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-59448500895892413152008-03-04T02:02:00.002-05:002008-03-05T01:34:58.987-05:00

So I can't text because I have come to the limits of pushing my dad on the subject.So I have broken the barrier and started talking about furthering my independence from them.We'll see what their input is. But if all goes well, by the end of the semester I should have a new phone with a new plan, which allows me to text all the time. Le sigh... the cost of doing business... society... what a

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-32993606653594357512008-03-03T01:45:00.001-05:002008-03-03T01:47:17.287-05:00

well i guess i was wrong... fuckin' a. someone take off my head before i become a monster.

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-36339027335422711272008-03-02T00:06:00.005-05:002008-03-02T00:11:47.327-05:00

i am attached like she is... but she isnt.i see her like she is... but she isnt.i get close like she is... but she isnt.i notice her like she is... but she isnt.i touch her like she is... but she isnt.i think... and still she isnt... thoughts are just not enough.and through it all i still care... because she isnt. because i want her to

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-88146909603702178532008-02-28T02:46:00.001-05:002008-02-28T02:48:39.175-05:00

for writing of course. I started a new short story last night, I just wrote this brilliant poem tonight. I thought about sharing it here, but I don't think it's ready quite yet to be distributed. I think it needs to settle for a while first, digest. Then I'll think about it. Maybe it will come up here later, part of the weekly creative arts installment. But I just thought I'd mention that

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-9292629723083934752008-02-28T01:23:00.003-05:002008-02-28T01:34:32.382-05:00

I took a rain check on the kiss. Polite of me, I know. Not really. I had permission, even though it was a joke. I understand that. Besides I don't want her feeling things too soon. It's not my time yet. I must still sit back and enjoy where I am at. I must appreciate what I have right now. Still there was no other thing I would have spent 3 hours doing. That was an amazing movie, with

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-25661716090713900212008-02-27T01:45:00.003-05:002008-02-28T02:49:24.293-05:00

In my defense I would like to say that it was an accident. There is no way I could have known she was going to be there at that particular time. I was just messing around and then this had to happen. I mean come on she said she didn’t believe me. Justice is cruel. Things just happen that way. They latch onto fallacies and half-truths, unaware that if they had patience then things would be

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-27223593063239419652008-02-27T01:43:00.004-05:002008-02-28T02:49:56.955-05:00

I have a brilliant idea forming inside my head. 10 points to whoever can name what movie that's paraphrased from. So I'm gonna put a few short stories up here. I don't think I'll do them all at once, that is overwhelming. But I think I will do one a week if I have one, and if I don't I'll do poems until I run out of those too. But this could help me focus my writing and start writing a bit

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-55069356167157692822008-02-27T01:37:00.003-05:002008-02-28T02:50:20.647-05:00

So I picked this new template to spice things up a bit. Idk maybe it will attract more attention... :shrug: A vain effort possibly. Also I have had google adsense for 3 months now and haven't gotten a single cent, not even a single click. w00t. at least it is free. i guess. i really thought that the reason i was doing this was that i was finally gonna get some foot traffic, but 3 ppl isn't

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-64747819284333898182008-02-27T01:02:00.004-05:002008-02-27T01:23:31.122-05:00

where have you gone. i want you back. i just talked with anna, she came and visited chris and i just to chat and say hi. she's a cool ra. but yeah i did a lot of talking and bragging, well not so much bragging, but i did a lot of talking. it got a weight off my chest. just talking about silly ol' stuff that don't matter much. you know my past and stuff. a lil about who i am. complaining

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-1094802182069881862008-02-26T23:15:00.002-05:002008-02-27T01:23:31.123-05:00

I need a long break. I need to fucking stop. I need to shut the door. Close myself off again.

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-73180798404909525362008-02-26T01:54:00.004-05:002008-02-27T01:23:31.123-05:00

jki like blogging. its fun. it lets these three or four ppl know what is going on in my head.when they can understand. i love how only those who i want to understand actually understand and those who just read it can try but they still dont understand fully. its cuz i leave everything so vague that it can mean a lot of things. yay me. not...i figured out why i am depressed. and now that im

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-28478972447085362662008-02-25T01:43:00.002-05:002008-02-27T01:23:31.124-05:00

i mean this bout of depression... this urge to punch a tree, one with really rough bark that will tear open my knuckles and latch onto my skin. bark has such wonderful texture. you can't really appreciate it until you've tried to apply enough force for it to meld with your skin...

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-36707217525987584472008-02-25T01:33:00.003-05:002008-02-27T01:23:31.124-05:00

does she still read this?>i like to think she does.am i still alive?>sometimes i dont want to bewhat is going on?>this is a long one. idk what is going on. i am depressed it seems. my shell is crumbling and i am starting to over compensate for it. i cant sleep well. i miss not having to dote upon her. i miss the company. i miss the intimacy. and to make matters worse i am falling.

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-29605703839080424292008-02-22T19:37:00.002-05:002008-02-27T01:23:31.125-05:00

Comments.They are nice.And help my self-esteem.And make keeping this worth while.But yeah.HI!

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-81203002515110724402008-02-22T01:58:00.002-05:002008-02-27T01:23:31.125-05:00

So tonight I made out with a guy. First time. It was amazing. I don't want to hurt his feelings by not being physically aroused, but it's gonna be hard for me the first time. Being forced to suck a penis when you are in 3rd grade doesn't really leave you well off with other men. Since then I've clung to me mum and women like none other. That's why I can so easily be one of the girls.Now I

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-30320122770963227692008-02-21T00:06:00.003-05:002008-02-27T01:23:31.126-05:00

I don't want to be like this anymore. I don't even know what I am doing. Dying my hair, that is a conscious choice and it is a good one. Dressing in drag, that is a conscious choice and it won't be a big thing, but I'm just gonna rid myself of my inhibitions every once in a while. But this other thing. The "in-your-end-o" shit that I am pulling, is me getting too comfortable. It's not good,

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-84029494211366977962008-02-18T01:51:00.002-05:002008-02-27T01:23:31.126-05:00

I be feeling... honestly I have no clue how I be feeling at this moment. I am watching some creepy ass movie that I walked into when it was about half way over. I don't want to go to my room, cuz then I'll fall asleep. I want to read, but I don't too.So I am sitting here blogging. I really can't put my feelings into words here, mostly because I've told those who need to know. I've talked to

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-27035367163739243442008-02-17T14:45:00.002-05:002008-02-27T01:23:31.127-05:00

Oh heck yeah. I be watching Underworld. Oh Kate, what would it cost to have your body, your eyes, your teeth, you for a night. I want to be in you, on you, with you. Oh so much.Vampire lust. What hott vampire lust. Lust is dangerous, but vampire lust is good. I sorta fear my own strength, but it could be set aside for such experiments.Oh the coffins and rope and chains. The blood. The

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-48303044604268082008-02-11T19:28:00.000-05:002008-02-27T01:23:31.127-05:00

Screw patriotic duty. I will serve when and if a war affects who I am as an individual, not when someone I didn't vote for, or agree with, makes idle theories on weapons of mass destruction. Not when this war engulfs families and communities in bloodshed and argument. Not when this war drags on endlessly causing the government to become petty liars and backstabbers. Not when dying for this

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-23710114997078052992008-02-11T01:24:00.001-05:002008-02-27T01:23:31.128-05:00

... dont they?no they just evolve. and ive evolved and devolved at the same time.im stranded in a salve of nothing.stuck in mediocrity.trapped.dying.its.about.time.

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-41187539167045037662008-02-11T01:10:00.000-05:002008-02-27T01:25:22.926-05:00

the tug-of-war game with my sanity.im jealous. i dont know why. i got that onesentence up and it hit even harder.its not that i want to be with her... well it is... but i dont. i just thought i wouldnt have the attachment. but i do.and so i must wrestle with my sanity.i need to change the sheets. that might help.it still wont save me against randomly smelling her smell, even the new one...

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-83983930999222368402008-02-07T12:17:00.001-05:002008-02-27T01:25:22.927-05:00

Blogging blogging blogging...So I'm extremely tired. I didn't sleep well... this morning actually. I didn't go to bed 'til 2:30. I woke up at 9:30. It's not good. I'm also still catching up on 4 hours of sleep in Saturday and Monday. Not a good week. I haven't done a lick of homework. I failed a quiz yesterday. I probably won't do amazing on my quiz today. However, I felt creative and

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-85023780809694629572008-02-06T11:34:00.000-05:002008-02-27T01:25:22.927-05:00

I don't think mother nature favours me right now. It was supposed to snow and sleet and ice yesterday, but it didn't. It was supposed to be worse today, but its not. It's supposed to be worse tonight, but I'm losing my faith. A snow day would be really helpful at this point. I'm behind on my reading for two classes (my lit one's) and would really like the opportunity to catch up.I got a quiz

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-53036400782878744692008-02-05T18:22:00.000-05:002008-02-27T01:25:22.928-05:00

And now it is February. Is it bad that I still count the days, that I still remember the date, still think about it coming up in 11 days?I've had a lot to think about since Feb 1st. A lot has come to bear. My eyes are opened wider, and now I can't feel anything but guilt.Again I didn't make my intentions clear. Someone misunderstood me and now they are hurt because of it. I feel that it is

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-76824435059111817152008-01-31T16:19:00.000-05:002008-02-27T01:25:22.928-05:00

That is a wonderful song. Obviously a Nightwish song, for those of you who are not into symphonic metal. Quite an interesting genre, definitely one of Nightwish's better pieces. Anyway, this is not the topic with which I want to bother you with today. I have quite an abundance of knowledge to dispense henceforth, for I have desired to blog for some days now, but have been otherwise occupied

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-13730084732407887152008-01-28T21:13:00.000-05:002008-02-27T01:25:22.929-05:00

I am fucked up. I know it. You should know it. Let's just agree to it from the start. It will make things so much easier. Then I can talk about what I want to talk about and you don't have to say I'm stupid or retarded or fucked up or wrong or anything. It will make my day go a lot smoother and probably yours too.I don't bash religion, I don't mean to hurt your feelings when I comment on

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-7228629141346163322008-01-28T20:37:00.001-05:002008-02-27T01:25:22.929-05:00

think civil conversations are wonderful. I enjoy them very much. Less pain now. Less bent and broken.Still don't think I was meant for much more though.Today was a good day, after 6:22 that is and most especially after 7:56. I finally grew a set and said something, anything. I'm glad I did it.A couple shots to the gut, but I deserve them.

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-37173805951290618222008-01-28T04:22:00.000-05:002008-02-27T01:25:22.930-05:00

Yeah so I've gotten into Magic the Gathering again. This is a lot of fun... but potentially bad. Two nights in a row staying up til 430. I hope my schoolwork doesn't suffer. :- /In other news. I'm no longer politically neutral, I think I'm gonna register to vote.

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-25295264245306692482008-01-27T01:48:00.000-05:002008-02-27T01:25:22.930-05:00

Is so fun.I love it. I think about it every night at 11. It completes my day. I don't care if she gets all weird about being scared or upset. It is sorta cute and sorta "shhhh stop worrying." Then it just degrades into me being me and her being her. And that ends up so wonderful.There were all those nice times with S. But honestly, it does take finding out what love isn't to learn what

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-10043142559724822552008-01-26T17:13:00.000-05:002008-02-27T01:25:22.930-05:00

Do I rightly have bragging rights? I got a 4 on the AP Calculus exam. I know I'm not the only one, I'm not the first, nor am I the last. But still that score is going to be with me forever. No I didn't choose to use it so I didn't have to take a math course in college. Yes it's because I love math. Still... I feel I can say what I did without measure for people to hate me. I try to be

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-54365897717416549682008-01-25T11:11:00.000-05:002008-02-27T01:25:22.931-05:00

So there was no hot water this morning. So I can't take a shower. >:- |This is annoying.

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-56124847290966383572008-01-24T09:34:00.000-05:002008-02-27T01:25:22.931-05:00

I wonder if anyone else will agree that I give too much for this fucking world sometimes.Yes I know who doesn't agree and why, so if you offer your two cents please spare me the bitching rant. Actually, no, save yourself the trouble. I know, you know, that is all that matters.And those who do agree, thank you. I really put up with a lot more than most think. Especially when the end result

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-9842730645840111792008-01-23T22:15:00.000-05:002008-02-27T01:25:22.932-05:00

Ladida. That is right. Ladida. I am chasing cars quite often now. It's good.I am also single. I broke up with Shannon. Yeah. I didn't do it in the most amazing and painless of ways, but since when is breaking up painless. Oh well. Things went sour, and bitterness was displayed. Emotions ran high and some things exploded and were taken the wrong way. Stupid emotion, it alters the mind

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-22351341866556494212008-01-18T12:53:00.001-05:002008-02-27T01:24:46.650-05:00

"Do you think its possible to love someone enough to give them up?"

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-37379409044948757792008-01-11T23:43:00.000-05:002008-02-27T01:24:46.651-05:00

After all I've done she can still use that four letter word...After all the teasing I do... the jokes I make... the stupidity I put her through...She still calls me a brat... and she has no idea that what it does to me is equivalent to hundreds of butterflies...

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-82677699451116771752008-01-10T19:01:00.001-05:002008-02-27T01:24:46.651-05:00

The blood-curdling screech snapped me from my fantasies. My vision focused. I could see the wispy white clouds floating in the baby blue sky. The terrible screeching pierced the air yet again. A profound pain filled my ears so that I crunched my eyes shut and brought a hand to my temple instinctively.When the pain cleared I was alert and ready. I brought my hand back down to maintain my grip

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-85926791437424693292008-01-10T18:52:00.000-05:002008-02-27T01:24:46.651-05:00

1) Attempted Suicide In sixth grade I attempted suicide, in a way. I was distraught, confused, and irrational. I hated my dad, I hated how school was going, I had no friends, I was just unable to deal with all the bad treatment I was getting. It just didn’t seem fair in my eyes. Sixth and seventh grade were the only times in my life when I truly prayed to God. The comfort I found was

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-61633392787318191652008-01-10T18:45:00.000-05:002008-02-27T01:24:46.652-05:00

So I was going through LJ and searching my HS for friends and I found... MYSELF. I knew I had an old LJ. And there it was. Guess what was posted! Two documents I thought I had lost forever. One (and most importantly) my personal manifesto and the other my top ten crucial moments, both from my online creative writing class the fall of my sr. year of high school. I'm so glad I found them. So

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-65388293107020309292008-01-10T18:35:00.000-05:002008-02-27T01:24:46.652-05:00

Sorry about worrying all you peeps with my fancy away messages and facebook statuses. It's just been hectic. My brain is fried now, but all is well. Well as well as things can be. I still miss Shannon and I'm still confused and thinking. But saying it out loud to a couple of you helped. Made me realize that I'm not going crazy and that I still know what I want.Still no pain. Don't think

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-51308764669183169912007-12-19T23:30:00.000-05:002007-12-19T23:41:59.832-05:00

So I guess I have to spell it out for you people.The Biography of a Self-Proclaimed God: The True StoryBy: Many-an-HistorianPart I: A Day In The Life of EMMETPROLOGUEThis complete and thorough attempt to document and understand what it is to be a god, what it is to be a separate species of the human race, will be published for those who wish to more entirely understand the creature with which

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-30786484375835391582007-12-19T22:42:00.001-05:002007-12-19T22:44:09.977-05:00

I filled out an application to Best Buy online after tonight's first post. I figured maybe being proactive will throw some good vibes my way.Ugghh. Is it bad that when my parents chain me down like this I want to disappear, possibly forever?:sigh:G'night amigos.

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-87075690610609825972007-12-19T21:21:00.001-05:002007-12-19T21:44:38.294-05:00

What is new?Well nothing. Home? Yeah. Vacation? Yeah.So what. What is home if I can't enjoy it? What is life at 19 if I can't do at least part of the things I want to do? You know, like see Shannon. That would be nice. I can understand worry and all that jazz, but this completely unreasonable.Here's the low down. I want to visit Shannon this weekend. Granted there are terms and

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-30817756643053003232007-12-12T18:09:00.001-05:002007-12-12T18:26:39.666-05:00

Everyone fights. No one quits.I will not quit. Of course I won't, it's not in my nature. I've just been hearing all this stuff of late. All these people are leaving, or talking about how inadequate they feel. Honestly it's making part of me feel the same, but for the most part it's making me feel like I deserve to be here since I think all these people are full of crap. They just don't

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-50062966320230505212007-12-06T21:57:00.000-05:002007-12-06T22:03:53.187-05:00

For anyone who reads this and keeps track of my facebook you may notice a cycle of status' that I have been going through, including, most recently, "wander wondering." Well I guess I should explain some of these. I've been depressed, probably a mix of stress, insomnia - causing a lack of sleep - , and the season. We all get a bit depressed during the winter, it's unavoidable. Plus the

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-83578685366714649022007-12-05T10:00:00.000-05:002007-12-05T11:17:32.291-05:00

Ugggh. Finals. Stress. Sleepless nights. I guess staying up to all hours of the morning this past weekend wasn't such a good idea. Now I'm behind on sleep, sorta. Well all this adds up to one thing: me not being able to control my depression as I usually do. Everyone gets depressed in some manner during the winter, me included. I just don't show it. Well some of you know about it. But I

Eternity Lasts Foreverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10643563544059599595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427329340339246541.post-73835607451449441892007-11-27T22:17:00.000-05:002007-11-27T22:35:05.376-05:00

I sit here in this chair in moderate comfort. Not comfortable to be able to fall asleep in unless I had been awake for 24 hours straight. But alas I might swing it anyway. I know I'm being complainy and whiney and bitchy and I should just fucking eat and sleep already, but I don't feel like it. So honestly I should shut up. You know what. Fuck it. I'm hungry and tired. I have been hungry

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