Trapped

You know those stereotypical shots of mimes trying to escape from an invisible box. Yeah that is me. This place is a cage, it is a box, it is a trap. I used to feel comfortable here. I didn't care that I fell out of touch with people, I barely had friends as it was, I was used to occupying myself with the TV and movies and in some cases the Internet - but I don't really find the Internet very entertaining. So I'm back here. Back the same ol' same ol'. But I don't want to lose touch. I'm too big for this cage. It used to be that I knew where the boundaries were and there was enough room for me to get around and manage myself. However, now I am too big for the cage. The boundaries have grown yes, but they are still much too small for the individual I have grown into. The forms of entertainment this place offers is minimal. The people close by that I can see are non-existant. I am gonna travel a lot this summer, I promise to visit all you guys. Shannon, Bri, Jen, relatives. All of you. But still I am here and it is hell. I unpack and I get depressed. I try to organize but I get disheartened. I mean it's lovely to see my mom and brother and I guess my dad - as long as he is civil. I guess I just need to transition. I need to get back into the rhythm of this house. Maybe I'll get over the fact that I just don't want to be here... at all.