Lots and lots of think...

Yes think. There has been but one thought occupying my mind these last 24-48 hours. No you don't get to know what it is. I had a long, beautiful, weight lifting conversation with my old friend last night. :sigh: It felt so good to talk to her. I remembered why I talk to her, why I consider her above all else my closest friend, because she is. I tell her everything, without hesitation, right down to the maybe not so good things I almost did this past weekend. I just blurt it all out and say my piece. And she listens, and then I do the same for her. And she knows me and I know her. She helps me and I help her. She keeps me on the straight and narrow, and I try to be a shoulder for her. And I think the reason we are so close is because we are so independent, normally we don't open up much to people, we rely on ourselves and we pride ourselves on being there for our friends, but to each other we are like peas in a pod. It is so great. I talked to her 'til I was parched in the mouth and I had worn down the rug another millimeter from all my pacing. (Yes I always pace when I am on the phone, I can't help it.)
Now tonight we're gonna hang out 'til whenever I feel like leaving, and catch up and chillax and all that. It's so great. I think I need to stop saying that sentence, it's getting redundant.
But in other news. I have a couple songs I want to refer to. I think it would be a waste of time and space if I put the lyrics up, so I'll name the songs and if you feel like looking up the lyrics (although I am sure all of you will know the songs) you can. "Every Breath You Take" by The Police and "I Want You To Want Me" by Cheap Trick.
I refer to those songs because in the last 24-48 hours I have realized something. In talking with my old friend, in talking to myself (boy I haven't done that in a long time) I think I have come to the conclusion that I love you. It hits me every time we talk, my heart sinks and rises like the tide because I love you. But it is okay, because the best love in the world is the forbidden ones, just like this. And truth be told I think you know it, but you just don't realize exactly how much...