Fucked Up

I am fucked up. I know it. You should know it. Let's just agree to it from the start. It will make things so much easier. Then I can talk about what I want to talk about and you don't have to say I'm stupid or retarded or fucked up or wrong or anything. It will make my day go a lot smoother and probably yours too.

I don't bash religion, I don't mean to hurt your feelings when I comment on religions. You're right, I do have my beliefs and so do you. I may not try to be polite about my religious banter and how I go about commenting on your faith. I may sound like I am trying to hollow out what you believe. But reality is that there is no proof either way, and what I do is not me trying to make you question your faith. However, if what I do say does make you question it or get upset, well I'm sorry. It's too bad because you are reacting over nothing. I feel bad when you do get upset, but in reality it's just silly. I think there is more to it than that, but that is okay. What I think is irrelevant, remember.

I don't want to have sex with a condom if I can help it. It isn't for some stupid petty feeling better reason. It is just because that is my life choice at this time. If I am clean and my partner is clean and my partner is on the pill, then I don't see the point of using one. It raises the protection against a baby by .2%. Now if the girl is irregular about her pill, then I will be more cautious. However, if she is taking it like it is supposed to be taken, .2% is not going to matter much. I don't take unnecessary risk, I am a safe person. But I don't believe in overkill and worrying and being "extra" safe. Safe is safe, end of point.

Now if that conflicts with the beliefs of my partner and I choose not to have sex because of it, then I am helping all you people who are arguing for me practicing "safer" sex. Because what is the safest boys and girls? That is right, abstinence. If that pisses you or my partner off, then I am sorry. It is my choice and my condition. We all have them, it is how society is built. It's not penalizing her for her beliefs because sex isn't that important. It shouldn't be the defining characteristic of a relationship to the point where it breaks the relationship. A relationship that is about love, which coincidentally I believe I have found or which I intend in only involving myself in from this point on in my life, is not about fucking till the first rays of the morning, or about fucked up beliefs. It is about compromise. Both people have to give in on some ground. And you know what, it won't be decided until it is brought up between us. Until then, nothing is for sure. There is two people, there are millions of circumstances and conditions and reasons for changing ones mind. HEY! I might even be talked into such things. However, that is for the time that it happens, not before. Until then I have my beliefs and they will be as fucked up as I want them to be.

Muchos gracias to all.